Staying in Love

Sumudu is a philosopher/ guru from Sri Lanka and can be followed on Facebook. I love this quote. For those of us in committed relationships, we know that the passion of the moment produces feelings of love that make our hearts flutter and our adrenalin flow like the lava from Mt. Vesuvius in Pompeii. At one time we only knew this kind of love and we were sure that whoever we shared this moment with was our beloved for evermore.

 

When I was active in my various addictions I only has "love" for whatever addiction it was that I was acting out at that given moment. It could have been booze, drugs, sex, food, material possessions, relationships, work and others. I had no room for another person in my life unless they had something I wanted and then I would say or do whatever I needed to get from them what I sought. After getting whatever it was that I sought, I would discard them like they were garbage and move on to my next victim. Not a pretty picture? That is what my addiction cost me  and did to you over time.

 

My recovery has been entirely different thanks to the 12 Steps, fellowship, Higher Power, Service, Prayer and not using. I have learned one day at a time how to forgive and love me just as I am. As a result, I have learned to love others just as they are. My love for others today is unconditional. I can love you with no reciprocity.

In my work as an Addictions Counselor and Rabbi, I am able to provide a safe and unconditionally accepting environment to clients and congregants so they are able to share their pain, anger, trauma and commence their healing journey.

 

I know that most have grown to know that loving another person is far more than the passion of the moment. Hollywood created the notion of falling in and out of love for profit and gain, not successful relationships. Our Western society falls in and out of many things as we believe we need to expand beyond what has come before us. I am not sure why. We have so many fads that are all economically inspired, not spiritually or emotionally centered.

Eastern notions of love are that we love, period, end of sentence. We love when it is easy and we love when it is not, for that is the definition of loving. We totally and unconditionally accept our partner as he/she is and love that person as we declared we would when we exchanged our vows. Let me be clear that I am in NO way suggesting that despite this dedication to love, not all relationships will endure for divine reasons that I do not begin to question. What I am suggesting however, is that love is hard work.

We use the phrase of "tough love" when describing how we may need to set limits with our children or colleagues. I don't know about you, but love is tough under the best of circumstances. It is beyond tough during hard times. I have learned much in the 16 years I have been married and the primary lesson I have integrated is that I love my life partner and know that we have something very special between us; not always easy, but very special.

My prayer for you today is that you work at your "love" and reap the rewards of that "something that is oh so special."