Affirmation

"If you wish your merit to be known, acknowledge that of others."
Anonymous

I recently had the opportunity to offer a class of high school students the following choice: They were in the midst of a Fund Raising Candy Drive and I said I would buy candy from each of them predicated on the following condition; I did not want the candy as I do not eat candy. What I told them was that they were to find someone they knew at school that they knew could not afford to buy candy and give the candy without telling anyone what they had done. Some of them asked me, "Can't I tell my parents?" I said NO. "Can't I tell my best friend?" NO.

There were 20 students in the class. How many do you think accepted my offer? One student said that anyone who took my money was just going to eat the candy and not do what I asked. I said that was possible, but that I had faith that those who took from me would give to others. I know that you are dying to know, so I will tell you - 11 out of 20 took me up on the offer. I will see them again in 2 weeks and will let you know how they did. I really don't care what they do with the candy. I acknowledged the self honesty of all 20 as they demonstrated thoughtfulness in their response to my offer. It is my belief that just as I acknowledge their effort, they will in turn acknowledge someone else's.

I share this with you as while active in my addictions I would take anything you were giving and say anything you requested to sound good. Sounding good was more important than acting good. Sound dishonesty was better than flawed honesty. Today I know me well enough to decline your offer when I know I am not willing to comply with your rules and if I do accept your offer, I will follow the rules.

As an Addiction Counselor and Rabbi, I am frequently called upon to give testimony on behalf of clients or congregants in legal matters. My testimony is usually about someone's character and actions. In the past I would have sought to "honestly" tell the court everything that was wrong with you. Today I seek to affirm all that is good as every one of us contains qualities worthy of recognition and affirmation.

My prayer for you today is that you find merit by acknowledging the efforts of others and not worry about their motives, but rather, acknowledge their actions and deeds.