For some reason my whole transplant experience seems to have hit me emotionally over the last few days. Up until this point I guess that I haven't really sat back and thought about things in to much detail. Yes it dominates much of my life still but I guess I have just been rolling along with the ups and downs. Any how I am not ashamed to say that this week my emotions seem to have been all over the place. I found myself thinking about how huge this whole experience has been; about being in theatre for 10 hours and really about how I ended up as a bowel transplant patient.
Little things would trigger off the emotions. A tv progamme, a song on the radio (am very in to Adele and Bruno Mars at the moment), a comment from the kids and I felt myself welling up and constantly thinking back to hospital. The thing is I actually don't remember much of the first week post op anyway so I am trying to work out what it is that I am getting so emotional over. I think that I can't quite get my head around the fact that I actually am a transplant patient now. I am not even sure how to articulate properly what it is that triggered these thoughts off. In truth I am fine and progressing pretty well but for a few days I was re-living in my head everything that I could remember whilst I was in hospital. Am not sure why or even where this all came from.
So there you have it, my strange few days. I presume this is just something that I will get through and then continue on as normal, it has never happened before so it has been very weird trying figure out why this time. I guess that I will speak to my team about this, they seem to figure most things out. In the meantime my football team QPR won today so things can't be that bad...