For some reason my whole transplant experience seems to have hit me emotionally over the last few days. Up until this point I guess that I haven't really sat back and thought about things in to much detail. Yes it dominates much of my life still but I guess I have just been rolling along with the ups and downs. Any how I am not ashamed to say that this week my emotions seem to have been all over the place. I found myself thinking about how huge this whole experience has been; about being in theatre for 10 hours and really about how I ended up as a bowel transplant patient.
Little things would trigger off the emotions. A tv progamme, a song on the radio (am very in to Adele and Bruno Mars at the moment), a comment from the kids and I felt myself welling up and constantly thinking back to hospital. The thing is I actually don't remember much of the first week post op anyway so I am trying to work out what it is that I am getting so emotional over. I think that I can't quite get my head around the fact that I actually am a transplant patient now. I am not even sure how to articulate properly what it is that triggered these thoughts off. In truth I am fine and progressing pretty well but for a few days I was re-living in my head everything that I could remember whilst I was in hospital. Am not sure why or even where this all came from.
So there you have it, my strange few days. I presume this is just something that I will get through and then continue on as normal, it has never happened before so it has been very weird trying figure out why this time. I guess that I will speak to my team about this, they seem to figure most things out. In the meantime my football team QPR won today so things can't be that bad...
Take care
Mx
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