I immediately knew that this was because I hadn't been covering the situation and my responsibilities with prayer and I wasn't walking in deep fellowship with God. And I knew so deeply that I can't do it alone.
I think so much of life is like this - dealing with health issues, raising children, work situations, relationships ... if we loose sight of the fact that we NEED God every moment we will mess things up. We're human, and we all make mistakes and have times when we are not beautiful - and when we try and do things in our own strength it will eventually run dry. We/I NEED to be in continual contact with the One who is stronger and who can help me through the most tricky moments in life. Life is not easy - it's hard and messy and painful at times. This world isn't heaven. If I don't focus my attention on God I can't make it through with a smile on my face.
So I guess this is just a reminder to all of us - but to myself in particular, to stay close to God. It's not worth it to try and do things in our own strength.